this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
