considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize