porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
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