why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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