You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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