Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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