spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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