y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
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