so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
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