how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
