Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
