I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
