my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Randomize
