Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
