just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
