i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Randomize
