i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
