I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Threesome in a minivan. New low
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
