i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Randomize
