Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
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