Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I look better un-naked...
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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