Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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