Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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