waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
This is my gift to your gina
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
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