Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
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