I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
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