I want to stick my p in your. b.
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Randomize
