i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
