I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
