Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
