member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Randomize
