So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
You ruined the universe
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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