I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
