i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
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