...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
COCAINE IS GR8
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
