I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
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