best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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