just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Randomize
