I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Randomize
