Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
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