well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
cat food counts as protein by the way
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
sex in a hospital.. check
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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