I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
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