I'm going to rape someone's good day.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
This house was built for laser tag.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Woke up backwards on a recliner
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Randomize
