I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Randomize
