Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
