In the future we'll all be gay
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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