I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
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Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
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Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
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