he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Randomize
