i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
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