"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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