member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Randomize
