I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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