I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Randomize
