So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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