Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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