Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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