her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
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