Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
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