they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
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I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
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We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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