well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
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