your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
